'Bullying is any behaviour which is deliberately intended to hurt, threaten or frighten another person or group of people. It is usually unprovoked and is often repeated and can continue for a long period of time. It always reflects an imbalance and abuse of power...'.

A definition that's been used in court by people trying to get damages for being bullied (and they've won) goes like this:

'Bullying is long-standing violence, physical or psychological, conducted by an individual or group and directed against an individual who is not able to defend himself in the actual situation, with a conscious desire to hurt, that individual or put him under stress'.

All of these things count as bullying

• name calling
• spreading rumours about someone
• making up stories to get a person into trouble
• taking friends away so someone's left on their own
• telling other people not to be friends with someone
• hitting, kicking, tripping up, or pushing around
• making remarks about a person's culture, religion or colour
• saying things about a person's looks or weight
• making remarks about a person's disability or medical condition
• not letting someone be your partner in class
• leaving someone out when you're choosing a games team
• taking away a person's things, or demanding money from them
• damaging someone's things
• hiding things like a person's books or bag
• making jokes about someone when you know it upsets them
• sending nasty text messages, silent phone calls, or nasty emails
• making threats

Some people say that if you do any of these kinds of things just once, then it's not bullying. Others say that if you're unfairly using your power over someone, even if you only do it once, then you're bullying them (after all, if you do it once, someone else does it once, then someone else, that person is going to feel bullied, aren't they?)

You are certainly being a bully if you keep doing any of these things, either to one particular person or to more than one. If one or more of these things keep happening to you, then you are being bullied and you shouldn't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Some other things about bullying

• It's done wanting to hurt, threaten or frighten someone
• It might be planned, but sometimes it's done on the spur of the moment
• It might be done at random by someone who doesn't even know you, probably by someone who is feared for their behaviour
• As you can see from the list above, it does not have to involve violence, and some surveys show that people find spreading rumours as the most stressful
• It's usually done to someone who at the time can't defend themselves
• It's cowardly because it is done to cause hurt without fear of any comeback.

What about people who know about bullying but don't do anything about it?

• Bullying can't happen unless people who are observers, onlookers or watchers do nothing to stop it
• Sometimes bullies rely on reinforcement and encouragement from an audience who (for instance) laugh at the victim, making their feeling of isolation worse
• Sometimes there are outsiders who don't join in the laughter, but pretend not to notice that the bullying is happening
• Bullies sometimes have 'assistants', who support the bully and are keen to join in

Why do people do it?
There are different reasons for it.
Sometimes there are 'rewards' they get for doing it:

• gaining status in the class, group, or school
• impressing friends, showing off, feeling tough
• getting money
• amusement
• satisfaction with seeing the victim suffer

Sometimes bullies have their own problems

• they may feel upset or angry or feel that they don't fit in - perhaps they have problems at home
• maybe they get bullied themselves, perhaps by someone in their own family or other adults
• they're scared of getting picked on so they do it first
• many don't like themselves and so take it out on someone else

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