Mobiles, text messages, emails, websites

Maybe as many as three quarters of teenagers own a mobile phone. They are perfect for bullies to taunt and threaten their target with little fear of being caught, since many pay-as-you-go mobiles can be bought (cheaply) without any proof of identity it can be impossible to trace who has sent calls or text messages from them. On the other hand, almost all malicious calls can now be traced to which phone made them, wherever it is in the country.

Emails may seem more anonymous, but actually they are almost always traceable unless the person sending them is very, very skilled with computers.

A nasty recent development is people setting up a website to target pupils by inviting others to post hate messages.

What can you do?

Don't ignore threats, but don't respond in the way the bully wants you to. The bully gets satisfaction from having power and control over you. They jerk your string, you jump. By refusing to jump, you deny bullies their sense of satisfaction. Try to stay in control of the nasty game the bully wants to beat you at. If you let any of the threats, accusations, allegations and criticisms get to you, the bully has started to win.

When people say 'just ignore it', what they really mean is 'do not respond to the taunts and provocation or engage the bullies'. Instead, what they mean is:

• If you get a nasty phone call rather than a text message, try to stay calm and try not to show emotion
• don't give your phone number when you answer a call, just say "hello".
• use an answering machine or messaging service to screen calls. A genuine caller will speak first, a malicious caller will probably hang up
• log everything in a diary, making a careful note of every call or message, what was said or written, whether you heard any background noise, the date, time, the caller-ID if available, or the reason for the caller-ID being unavailable (eg "withheld", "unavailable", etc) - even this can be useful
• print off the messages if possible
• try to figure out who is doing it and how, ask for help, become a detective. You almost certainly know the person responsible. Who might be jealous of you? Is there anyone who might feel rejected by you (however unfairly)
• immediately get your parents involved (or a trusted adult if that's not possible). You can't handle bullying alone, and bullies will try to isolate and separate you from friends, family and parents
• agree a plan for dealing with it which you are all agreed on
• if you get any of your phone service from BT and receive a malicious or nuisance call and would like advice, call Freefone 0800 800 150, then option 4, then option 2. There is then the option of a recorded message or a 'live' advisor. 0800 661 441 gets you straight through to this specialist service
• consider getting a second mobile phone and treating your first one as a source of evidence. Give your new number to only one person at a time and keep a careful log of who you've given it to and when, making them promise not to give it to anyone else. Don't tell anyone else that you are keeping a diary except the trusted adult who's supporting you.
• If things get so bad that you want to tell the police, they might want to look after your old mobile phone. Then you'll know that every time the bully sends abusive calls or text messages these are going straight to the police station
• Contact the internet service provider of the person sending email abuse if this lands in your inbox on the computer. You can usually contact them on abuse@ whatever the ISP host is, i.e. abuse@hotmail.com
• Bullying Online (www.bullying.co.uk) successfully stopped a site targeting particular pupils and is prepared to do so again

The law can help in some ways. You may be able to use the Protection From Harassment Act. Bullying by mobile phone is very similar to stalking, and this law defines harassment as causing alarm or distress on at least two occasions.

Sending anonymous or abusive phone calls or messages is a criminal offence under section 43 of the Telecommunications Act 1984, and (for adults) can lead to 6 months in prison and a fine. Cyberstalking is also illegal.

More details on

http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/bullycide/index.htm
http://www.bullying.co.uk/children/mobile_phone.htm

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